Me:: I'm sick to death of piss, shit and blood. I'm DONE.
Ali:: But you're supposed to care for your family!
Me:: I do care. But I want to go back to work now. . .
Ali:: What kind of attitude is that??
Me:: I just made your dinner didn't I?? You're having ramen noodles. I'm having a box of wine! Now leave me alone for five minutes will ya'?
Ali:: Nice. {heading into the bathroom}
five minutes later
Ali:: {coming out of the bathroom, trying not to grin} Honey. . .
Me:: What?
Ali:: My bottom really hurts. I think it needs some ointment. . . {she can't help but laugh now}
Me:: How many ways can I possibly say HELL NO????
And will someone out there please bring me another box of wine. . .pretty please. . .
5 comments:
I could bring you more wine. You are one of my oldest and dearest friends, but I WILL NOT rub ointment on Ali's butt. Hell I won't even rub ointment on my own wife's ass. I am always here for ya, I will try to make you laugh. Sending you lots of love.
Once again, while reading your blog, I've realized what a sheltered life I've led.
Thanks.
No, really.
BOX of wine??? I can't do it. Please tell me what kinds of wine you enjoy? White??? Red??? Dry??? Sweet? Semi-sweet?? I will stock you up with plenty of quality wine from a BOTTLE!!!!
Dear Columbus Wino,
I'm broke. I have three dogs. I have to drink wine from a box. . . since they do dumb things like require surgery on Christmas Eve!!
I like sort of sweet wine. Color is irrelevant because, clearly I have no taste! =)
Your Friend,
The Findlay Animal Shelterer
1) Boxes preserve wine much better than bottles. They don't allow air into the wine, which allows it to stay drinkable for at least a month. Assuming you can keep it around that long.
2) A nice buttery chardonnay is great from a box.
3) I SURE hope that things have improved at your house!!
4) Lots of love from our house!
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