Sunday, December 26, 2010

Vignette :: My Christmas Story

As noted in the previous post, I'm sick of cleaning up poop {mostly dog}, blood {all dog}, vomit {all human} and pee {mostly dog}. I had a semi-bad attitude all day and gave Ali a hard time. I told her how I really felt.

Me:: I'm sick to death of piss, shit and blood. I'm DONE.

Ali:: But you're supposed to care for your family!

Me:: I do care. But I want to go back to work now. . .

Ali:: What kind of attitude is that??

Me:: I just made your dinner didn't I?? You're having ramen noodles. I'm having a box of wine! Now leave me alone for five minutes will ya'?

Ali:: Nice. {heading into the bathroom}

five minutes later

Ali:: {coming out of the bathroom, trying not to grin} Honey. . .

Me:: What?

Ali:: My bottom really hurts. I think it needs some ointment. . . {she can't help but laugh now}

Me:: How many ways can I possibly say HELL NO????

And will someone out there please bring me another box of wine. . .pretty please. . .


Lynda said...

I could bring you more wine. You are one of my oldest and dearest friends, but I WILL NOT rub ointment on Ali's butt. Hell I won't even rub ointment on my own wife's ass. I am always here for ya, I will try to make you laugh. Sending you lots of love.

Ami said...

Once again, while reading your blog, I've realized what a sheltered life I've led.


No, really.

The Columbus Wino said...

BOX of wine??? I can't do it. Please tell me what kinds of wine you enjoy? White??? Red??? Dry??? Sweet? Semi-sweet?? I will stock you up with plenty of quality wine from a BOTTLE!!!!

Tanya said...

Dear Columbus Wino,

I'm broke. I have three dogs. I have to drink wine from a box. . . since they do dumb things like require surgery on Christmas Eve!!

I like sort of sweet wine. Color is irrelevant because, clearly I have no taste! =)

Your Friend,
The Findlay Animal Shelterer

Marie said...

1) Boxes preserve wine much better than bottles. They don't allow air into the wine, which allows it to stay drinkable for at least a month. Assuming you can keep it around that long.
2) A nice buttery chardonnay is great from a box.
3) I SURE hope that things have improved at your house!!
4) Lots of love from our house!