Tuesday, November 02, 2010

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Spits His Gum In The Urinal

Dear Urinal Spitting Guy,

What the hell?

Every day I drag my sorry ass into the bathroom where you work to clean, disinfect and deodorize your loo. I know it's a glamorous job, but somebody's got to do it. And every day, in the urinal on the left, you've deposited your gum. And every day, I have to reach into the facilities with a paper towel and fish it out.

Seriously. Have you ever bothered to notice that if you look directly behind you there is a 20 gallon trash can? As soon as you shake it off, you could spit your gum in there. But that would be asking too much now wouldn't it?

I'm trying to figure out why you would do such simpleminded thing day after day after day. Are you really that lazy? Do you think you're being creative and funny? Do you wonder where the gum has gone day after day? Would you put it in there if you knew your mother was the one who was going to have to get it out? (Never mind. I already know the answer to that one.)

Or is it just a way to make me feel disrespected as a human being?

Maybe you're one of the new guys who hasn't figured out yet that the janitor is pretty cool. . .and that she occasionally bakes for the people on your shift.

Urinal-Spitting- Guy, here's a newsflash for you – it's the little things in life that really matter. And you and your gum. . .you're just a pain in my ass. I'm going to keep smiling, joking, chatting and baking. And it looks like I'm going to keep fishing gum out of the urinal. And every time I do, I'm going to smile and try to kill you with kindness.

The Janitor

{Every janitor has his/her pet peeves. This one just happens to be mine. Is is so damn hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes?? How would you like to reach in a urinal every day? And, by the way, the next time you're too lazy to dump your cup full of liquid in the sink and instead, you set it "carefully" in the trash, think of me, will ya??}

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