4:01 AM – Pretend I don't hear it. Ali usually gets up and turns the fan on high to make more noise.
4:04 AM – Realize that the bathroom window is open and faces the next door neighbor's bedroom.
4:05 AM – Get my ass out of bed and out in the backyard with Delilah.
4:25 AM – She finally does her business.
4:26 AM – Sammy and Oliver realize that if they whine they can go outside too.
4:30 AM – I come to terms with the fact that I am up for the day and make a pot of coffee.
The rest of the day:
:: clean puppy pee off the bathroom floor on my hands and knees with Clorox Clean-Up.
:: clean puppy pee off the living room floor
:: referee Delilah and Sammy wrestling matches (Sam has no idea how big he is!)
:: clean puppy pee off Sammy
:: fold clothes and put them away while keeping one eye out for puppy pee
:: pack my lunch
:: take a shower while having Delilah locked in the bathroom with me because it's easier to clean puppy pee off of tile than off of hardwood
:: clean puppy pee off the bathroom floor
:: go to work, where I've started a new job and am completely stressed out. It seems as though it's perfectly acceptable to do everything but make a mistake. I come home so keyed up it's not funny.
:: clean the warehouse, where I clean human pee off the men's room floor
:: make dinner
:: don't do the dishes. Since I'll be up at 4:00 tomorrow morning, why don't I just leave them until then??? Besides that, I'll need something to do while I'm waiting for her to manufacture more pee. . .
Sense a theme here? Oh well, I know that this too shall pass. I feel kind of like that cranky old writer of Ecclestiastes:
"What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun."
The only thing new in my life is a little more pee under the kitchen table.