Setting: our kitchen – We have a big Kitchen Aid stand mixer on the counter with a large silver bowl. I was packing my lunch and Izzy was annoying me, trying to get into my lunch bag and just generally being a pain in the ass, as is her customary modus operandi.
Me:: "Izzy, get the *&%?! off the counter. . ."
Izzy:: (Ignoring me as usual, going about her business. Suddenly she puts the top half of her body into the mixing bowl.)
Me:: "What the *&%?! are you doing? Get out of here!"
Izzy:: (frantically digging around in the bowl)
Me:: (getting more annoyed) Suddenly I notice that lots and lots of little somethings are flying out of the mixing bowl. These things are landing on the counter like long grey snowflakes and Izzy is becoming increasingly more agitated. I lean in closer and realize the "snowflakes" are, in all actuality, centipede legs.
Me:: (screaming and running from the kitchen*) "Al. . .please come down here. . .NOW!"
She comes to the rescue, half dressed, only emitting a few muffled screams of her own as she quickly dispenses of the intruder. We made a quick pact that I would dispense with the spider web by the back door in exchange for her centipede bravery. As she went back upstairs to finish dressing she tossed this little gem over her shoulder –
"See. . . Izzy does have a reason to live here!"
* In case you've forgotten, I have centipede issues.