Help from Higher Up

I've been trying to sell the big, brown house in the 'hood for quite some time now. "Quite some time" meaning along the lines of three years. We've almost gotten to the closing table three times. Each time something happens and that brings me dangerously close to having to hurt someone out of frustration and disappointment.

The latest blow came just last week. The two comments to that post came from my aunt and uncle - Sharon and Greg. Their advice was to bury a St. Joseph statue. It worked for them on several occasions. I might have been skeptical, but who am I to pretend I know anything about selling a house? Obviously. . .

Greg said that within TEN MINUTES of burying one at my cousin Carrie's house they were contacted by the person who would eventually buy her house. Ten minutes?? I am so there.

Saturday found me going to the Catholic bookstore in Toledo. The nice man asked if he could help me and when I said I needed a St. Joseph he took me to the display of no less than four different "St. Joseph Home Selling Kits." He assured me that the house would be off the market in two weeks. And he didn't even ask if I was Catholic!

My kit cost $8.50. (I didn't want to buy the cheapest one - would it still work if St. Joe thought I was a tightwad??) A worthy investment I assured myself. We took it to the front yard of the big, brown house in the 'hood and I dug the hole. Under the pine tree because it's prettier there. (If you've ever seen the big, brown house in the 'hood you're laughing right along with me right now!)

He's supposed to go in upside down, although the "kit" didn't explain why. 

In he went. I was a little worried about all the blood rushing to his head, but when it comes to religion I do what I'm told. Yeah. . .right. . . (I was also a little worried that some of the homeless winos who were watching me dig a hole in the front yard of an empty house were going to think I was burying something they might want, but that's another issue I'll just have to turn over to St. Joe. But, I digress.)

After covering him over you're supposed to pray. The "kit" comes with a prayer card.

I made Ali pray it out loud with me. She was thrilled – as you might expect.

I marked the spot with a stick so that when the house sells tomorrow I will be able to dig him up and place him in a spot of honor in the house. Although, I'm expecting not to forget where he is since it will only be another TEN MINUTES or so until I go dig him up!

If it seems like I'm making light of St. Joe and his house selling abilities, I kind of am. But, who knows? There is an awful lot of the Catholic faith that I admire and wish were part of my faith tradition. The beauty of Mass. The monastic influences. The Saints and all their faithfulness.

A little St. Joe mixed with some prayer and faith can't hurt a thing.

Now, where is my phone? And has it been ten minutes yet?