Mother's Day

I belong to an online knitting community called Ravelry. We share patterns, stories and laughs on a variety of forum pages. In December, 2007 I knitted a shawl with the intention of sending it to my mother. As I knit it, I prayed for her since we had not been in communication for several years. After I finished it I wrote about it on a Ravelry board and asked the question, "How much power does knitting or prayer have?"

That shawl has been on my mind today because it's Mother's Day. Here's my original post and some of the very wise answers I received.

tmpike:

I recently finished knitting the Forest Canopy Shawl and am mailing it to my mother for Christmas. She has health problems and I treated the knitting of this as an exercise of prayer for her.

As I'm preparing to mail this it makes me wonder what kind of power knitting - or prayer for that matter! - really might have. My mother has not spoken to me, nor I to her, since September of 2002. As a lesbian, I'm a disappointment to her as a daughter and to her understanding of what a "christian" must be.

So, I knit. And I pray. And I guess we shall see.

I'm posting this here so that all of you who love knitting might send thougths of peace toward my mother as well. After all, isn't that what this season is supposed to be about?

billyqc:
I'm deeply impressed and moved by your kindness and generosity. This time of year usually leaves me feeling alienated and very, very sad since, like you, I'm queer and my family won't have anything to do with me; all the talk of holiday knitting and such leaves me cold and estranged. I'm going to try to remember your amazing gesture every time I start getting down, and pour the rest of my heart into finishing the small projects I'm doing for my constructed family.
Thank you, and peace.

jacttd:
It is a shame she cannot see what a strong daughter she raised. I'm sorry you feel like a disapointment to her. As a mother myself, the only time I am disappointed with my girls is when they do not follow their hearts. A mother's job is to equip their children for life, learn to let them live on their terms and remember their choices are not always a reflection of ourself.
You both have my prayers.

dharmarn:
I hope it occured to you, that by sharing this with us, you have done more than just that. Reading this touched my heart. I’m not gay, but I grew up with some really strange family dynamics that I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to make sense of. I, too, have felt that alienation from my ‘family’ and had to contruct a real family of my own.
I think it is beautiful that you shared this with us, because in some way, you just taught us all how much we truly have in common -not as knitters, or gays, or daughters with screwed up parents- but as humans who need to feel love.

I never heard from my mother. I kind of still wait. I don't really know what I feel any more about this whole thing. You can only be hurt so many times. Now I just kind of feel numb. 

I spent the afternoon with Ali's mom today. It was really hard for her to come to terms with Ali's sexual orientation. She's from the same fundamentalist Christianity as my parents. But, today she and I watched Ali play softball together. We laughed and talked and I didn't have to hide anything.

To all those who mother us, in the very best sense of the word – Happy Mother's Day.