It Started With A Bang & A Kleenex

This morning started with a bang. And a Kleenex – or five. . .

I'm still sick and all I want to do is sleep in a little bit. Sammy has different ideas. He started howling this morning at 6. That prompted Oliver to join in. They weren't going to shut up and I knew I was up for the day. 

I came downstairs and let them out. The house is a mess from Christmas with stuff everywhere and I started feeling a little overwhelmed. There are clean clothes in a HUGE (unfolded) pile on the kitchen table, piles of Christmas presents all over the counter, wrapping paper and ribbons in a heap in the office and dog hair everywhere. This kind of stuff bothers me. I try to relax about it, but it still stresses me out. I took a deep breath and decided to tackle the one thing that's been an annoyance for the last few days.

We have a leather overstuffed couch. The back cushions are attached to the frame and can't be removed. Each of the three back cushions has a zipper at the bottom. The dogs, digging at the couch, sprung the zipper in the middle cushion and pulled a bunch of stuffing out. Of course it pissed me off but hey, they're dogs and that's what they do. Right?

I try really hard to be a "people are more important than things" kind of person. . .and pets are like people to me. . .most of the time. . .

I sat down this morning, while they were outside and I had a little peace and quiet, to try and fix the zipper. I pulled out about half the stuffing to give me some working room. I tried to work the zipper backwards slowly so I could line it up again and start over. While I was working at it, it kind of occurred to me that I hadn't heard any scratching at the back door. It was unusual but I thought I would count my blessings and keep working at the zipper.

It wasn't going well. I pulled too hard, too quickly and the one side of the zipper came off the upper "track." I said some ugly things under my breath and consulted Google to see how to fix this newest development. Again, it entered the edge of my consciousness that I hadn't heard anything from the back yard. I ignored it. To my peril.

Turns out, according to my preliminary internet search, that there's no easy fix for my zipper problem. I realized I needed to do some deeper research and decided to take a pillow off the guest bed and put it in the cushion as a short term fix. At least the dogs wouldn't be able to pull it out by the mouthful like they had been doing with the stuffing.

I made a pot of coffee and decided to check on the dogs. They still weren't at the back door so I went out into the garage. No dogs there either. I heard their tags jingling and stepped out on the patio in my socks.

What I saw in the darkness made me gasp.

Besides two dogs, wagging their asses off with pride and joy at their latest accomplishment, I saw at least a dozen or so skeins of my best and most expensive yarns strung all over the back yard. They were knotted and spread across more than half the yard. They were wet with spit and matted with leaves and twigs.

And the dogs just stood there, looking at me like they were so damn proud.

They had gotten into a tote in the garage full of yarn (which, I must confess, I had left the lid off of yesterday while hunting for a small project to take with me to Ali's family's Christmas celebration).

But this was my limit. Besides being sick, tired and overwhelmed by the mess in the house, they did this while I was doing my best to fix the couch which they had torn up in the first place!

What ensued wasn't pretty. And I'm not proud of it. I went upstairs, where Ali was still sleeping, and threw myself on the bed, crying. Between the sobs I told her what had happened. I said very ugly things about dogs, potential sources of food in China and the Pound. She got dressed and cleaned up the back yard. I cried some more and said some more ugly things. She, to her credit, was very patient with me and with them. She gave them the standard monologue about what bad dogs they were and she gave me time and space to calm down and rethink my position on dog ownership.

For the moment, we still have two dogs. But I think we need a new box of Kleenex.