Nothing New Under the Sun

4:00 AM – Wake up to caterwauling, wailing, yowling, screeching and screaming coming from the downstairs bathroom where Delilah is "sleeping."

4:01 AM – Pretend I don't hear it. Ali usually gets up and turns the fan on high to make more noise.

4:04 AM – Realize that the bathroom window is open and faces the next door neighbor's bedroom.

4:05 AM – Get my ass out of bed and out in the backyard with Delilah.

4:25 AM – She finally does her business.

4:26 AM – Sammy and Oliver realize that if they whine they can go outside too.

4:30 AM – I come to terms with the fact that I am up for the day and make a pot of coffee.

The rest of the day:

:: clean puppy pee off the bathroom floor on my hands and knees with Clorox Clean-Up.

:: dishes

:: laundry

:: clean puppy pee off the living room floor

:: referee Delilah and Sammy wrestling matches (Sam has no idea how big he is!)

:: clean puppy pee off Sammy

:: fold clothes and put them away while keeping one eye out for puppy pee

:: pack my lunch

:: take a shower while having Delilah locked in the bathroom with me because it's easier to clean puppy pee off of tile than off of hardwood

:: clean puppy pee off the bathroom floor

:: go to work, where I've started a new job and am completely stressed out. It seems as though it's perfectly acceptable to do everything but make a mistake. I come home so keyed up it's not funny.

:: clean the warehouse, where I clean human pee off the men's room floor

:: make dinner

:: don't do the dishes. Since I'll be up at 4:00 tomorrow morning, why don't I just leave them until then??? Besides that, I'll need something to do while I'm waiting for her to manufacture more pee. . .

Sense a theme here? Oh well, I know that this too shall pass. I feel kind of like that cranky old writer of Ecclestiastes:

"What has been will be again,

what has been done will be done again;

there is nothing new under the sun."

The only thing new in my life is a little more pee under the kitchen table.