Thursday, January 20, 2011

Co-Creators With God

There are very few days in the span of a lifetime in which you get to enter into the grand unfolding of life by making a conscious decision which could alter your path forever. Most days are littered with the small decisions of everyday living that might add up to something when viewed in the rearview mirror. Occasionally there are events that are thrust on us with positively no permission being given by us. There are both happy and tragic occurrences that amend our lives in ways we never even see coming.

But today, we get to make a choice. There is no way a lesbian couple will ever accidently attempt to bring a child into the world. And I am unquestionably on board with this decision. I'm excited, terrified and already thoroughly in love with whatever our outcome will be.

Yet I am also apprehensive. There are a million how, what if questions buzzing in my brain and gnawing at the edges of my stomach. Maybe it's because I'm older that these questions seem louder and more obnoxious. When I was younger I would just jump in with both feet and know that I would figure it out as it came. Now I want to see down the road just a little farther than my little flashlight will illuminate.

So, today I make a choice. It's one of those moments that is holy because I am conscious that, along with God, we are choosing to attempt to be co-creators of life. And we make that choice with love and faith and a community of friends and family who love and support us.

And really, what else do we need? The money and the diapers and the sleepless nights will take care of themselves, if it is meant to be.

When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.


random thougths said...

You are definately loved and supported. Hope all goes well. You ended with my favorite all time sermon I once her a great pastor use... and at times, we all take that step, and pray for the best...

Anonymous said...

and now the wait begins....a long 14 days or so. Praying for calm and peace for you both as you wait

Lynda said...

Prayers go to you. I understand how you feel and what you are going through. Someday we will have to get together and I will tell my tale. Sending lots of LOVE, good thoughts and Prayers you way.