to this –
with a simple snapshot of some violets in the yard. I think the watercolor filter is an improvement on a sort of washed out, boring shot of weeds. The whole time I was working with the picture I was constantly looking to make it "better." While I was fooling around, it reminded of a conversation that Ali and I had at the dinner table a couple of nights ago.Over hamburgers from the grill, we were talking about people we know, friends and acquaintances, who's lives are going nowhere. They are either addicts – painkillers and/or alcohol for the most part, or they just don't have the internal desire to make their lives about anything more than the next thing to complain about or the next moment of drama. We talked at length about why some people just don't want their lives to be more.
As she was putting her plate in the dishwasher Ali said, "You know, you and I have both had situations in our lives that could easily have put us right where some of these people are. Why didn't we quit on life too?" I'd like to think that we have something special in our DNA to help us persevere or that we were brought up with some kind of desire and work ethic that wouldn't let us quit, but in looking at the people we know who's lives are crashed and burning, I don't really think that's the case. Many of them come from backgrounds not much different than ours.
The more I think about this desire to constantly improve, the more I am beginning to believe that it's inspired by the people with whom we choose to surround ourselves. If we tolerate mediocrity in the people around us, it won't be too long before we are willing tolerate the same laziness in ourselves. If the people in our circle of companions are busy blaming others for their problems, constantly looking to the past instead of the future or are filled with bitterness and anger they will quickly bring us down to their level.
What if it turned out that making self-centered, life crushing decisions was contagious?
I don't really know why some people continue to grow up throughout their lives while some never really start. I've got a guess though. What if it's as simple as realizing that we become just like the people we choose to hang out with – good or bad?
3 comments:
My hubby was raised by an alcoholic mother and a more or less absent father.. until the divorce when he went with his mom. She bounced through a series of men, abusive situations, and addictions/attempts to get clean.
Hub's sister went with his father. Who was clean and sober and steady.
She turned out to be a mess, in trouble with the law, prison time, drugs, children taken away... and he's the one who is clean and a good, loving husband and father.
We've talked about it over the years... why his sister, who was raised in a more or less steady home went over the edge, and why he did not.
And he said because one day he decided he was not going to let his beginnings dictate his life. That HE was the one who had power over what and who he was going to become.
And turned away from the things that would hold him back.
He's made of some strong stuff.
My guess is that both of you are, too.
The human spirit and force of will are things that can take my breath away. He sounds like a gift who can pass his spirit right along to your kids! Amazing!
There's been research about this that confirms your musing. If we are surrounded by people who are working toward what the therapists call self-actualization and what we call being what God wants us to be, we are more likely to continue that hard work. That's why I'm grateful for you!
Post a Comment