This Vitality Thing Is Going To Kill Me

Every year I choose a word to guide my thinking and choices for the coming 365 days. For me, it's SO much better than a laundry list of resolutions that last all of three days. Last year my word was gentleness. This year it's vitality.

I afraid this vitality thing is going to kill me.

I'm moving along in years - to put it gently. With any luck, I've reached about the halfway point of my days so I started January 1st by thinking that any little steps towards better health would fit nicely in the vitality plan. Not wanting to rush things too much, I thought that perhaps the first steps towards more a more vigorous me might involve the ingestion of a multi-vitamin a day. I mean, heck, how hard can that be?

Monday morning I ate a little Activia prune-flavored yogurt – another nod to my impending geriatric colon – and popped my Centrum For Women, bullet-shaped, powerhouse of good health.

As I was drying my hair ten minutes later I felt a little odd. Within seconds my prune flavored yogurt was returning for a second visit – this time in the bathroom sink.

Now I remember why I don't take vitamins.

On Tuesday I thought it might be fun to try a new, healthful drink. When Dr. Oz made this special Green Drink on her show, Oprah took one taste of it and declared, "Oh! A glass of fresh!"

Dirtying every blending device in my kitchen, I whipped up a Green Drink of my own.


Here's the recipe just in case you want to make a glass of fresh for yourself after finishing this post!

2 cups spinach
1-2 medium cucumbers (approx 2 cups)
1 stalk celery
1/2 inch gingerroot (or 1 teaspoon)
1 bunch chopped parsley (approx 1/2 cup chopped)
2 apples, cored
1 lime, juice of
1/2 lemon, juice of
4 ounces mineral water (or a handful of ice cubes)

I took one sip of this concoction and it nearly followed the path of the prune-flavored Activia yogurt. What was left went down the last clean blending device in my kitchen – the garbage disposal.

Not being one to give up easily, this morning I decided to go to the recreation center in Bluffton and purchase a pass so that I could walk on the track in the mornings. My goal is 10,000 steps a day and the only way to make it is to do some intensive walking every day.

When I approached the counter there was a young girl working and I explained what I wanted. She looked me over carefully and then proceeded to ask if I qualified for the Senior Citizen discount. . .

Vitamins might make me puke and a glass of eviscerated spinach and apples might make me gag, but I am still feeling plenty vital enough to jump over that counter and take on a girl half my age!

Who you callin' old??