Sins and Legacies

I've been thinking about Judas and Peter lately. In case you don't know the stories, or have forgotten them, here they are in the briefest of forms. Read the references if you want more detail.

Judas Iscariot – one of the original twelve disciples of Jesus. He was the treasurer of the group. The "official religious people in charge" were looking for a way to arrest Jesus. In exchange for 30 pieces of silver, Judas signaled who Jesus was to the arresting soldiers by kissing him on the cheek. Judas was so overcome with guilt for this betrayal that he returned the bribe and committed suicide by hanging himself.

Simon Peter - also one of the original twelve disciples. On the night Jesus was arrested, three different people asked Peter if he knew this man named Jesus or if he was a follower of him. On all three counts Peter adamantly denied that he had ever had anything to do with him.

So, this is what's been on my mind. Both of these guys were handpicked by Jesus to be his disciples. They had each spent three years in his company, doing good works and basically changing the world. In one evening they both sinned. Judas betrayed Jesus for money. Peter betrayed Jesus because he was afraid of guilt by association.

Judas handled his betrayal by promptly going to the nearest scaffolding and hanging himself.

Peter betrayed Jesus three times and we don't hear much from him for awhile. He took some time off and I'm assuming did some soul searching. Eventually he finds his voice again and becomes the "rock" on which the church is built. He goes on to become Saint Peter.

It just seems to me that the way they handled their sin became their legacy.

I'm guessing the "official Christians in charge" were quite pleased with Judas' choice. Quick, clean and done with that. Moving on. Judas who?

What forces do you suppose Peter ran into when he found his voice again? He was a disappointment. He showed moral failure. How could he possibly be a role model? Who could listen to anything he had to say and not laugh at his hypocrisy?

I'm coming to the conclusion that Peter is just one more example of God's stunning choice of always picking the least, the last and the lost. God makes me laugh. Either that, or cry.

I emailed some of these questions to a friend who's struggling with her own calling. She's about to graduate from seminary and isn't sure what the future holds for her. I asked her how we keep from becoming Judas and this is part of her wise response:

"I'm not sure how [to] keep from becoming Judas. I'm not even sure how many ways there are to be Judas and slip quietly into the night. For you, does it mean not exercising that gift of preaching and pastoring? For me, does it mean that I come this far and decide that I cannot subject my soul to another "process" should one even arise? Or does the fact that we're still standing, still praying, still reading the Bible, still ministering to the people that God brings us, does that right there make us Peter already?"

I honestly don't know. If you're reading this right now and have some thoughts I would be most grateful if you would share them. In the meantime, I think I'm going to quit reading the Bible. . .