There are just a few mysteries that I would like to solve in my lifetime, with the first one being why public bathroom doors open in. Seriously! Think about it. You lean on the door with your shoulder to open it. Then, when your hands are clean on the way out you have to grab the handle to exit, and who knows how many people have touched what without washing. . . It grosses me out and I can't understand why some commercial construction designer doesn't figure this out.
Then again, maybe he doesn't wash. . .
A couple of other mysterious questions plague me and they have to do with food. I know I'm not alone in this one because I've asked other people and they agree.
Why do regular Cheerios, when they are floating in milk, smell like a urinal? You would think the food scientists at General Mills would have noticed that sometime in the last 62 years.
Why does cream of tomato soup smell like vomit? I've written about that one before.
My newest small mystery confronted me this weekend. It also involves food. I've been reading and hearing quite a lot about Greek yogurt. There's all kinds of buzz about how it has twice as much protein as regular yogurt, how it's thicker and creamier and has just a little bit of tang to it. Sounded like a winner to me. I don't like things excessively sweet. I don't really like the texture of regular yogurt because it's too thin and I thought the extra protein might help me not have that crash I usually do between breakfast and lunch.
So, when doing my grocery shopping on Saturday, I got two small containers – one vanilla and one blueberry. They cost twice as much as the regular stuff but I splurged, hoping they would justify themselves by being at least twice as good.
Yesterday I cracked open the vanilla, stirred it up and took a big bite.
Why would anyone want to eat anything that tastes exactly. like. vomit?
At first, I thought it must just be me. There's no way a real company would try and sell anything vomit flavored – other than jellybeans marketed at eight year old boys. Then I thought that maybe it only tastes like my vomit since I would clearly have no clue as to what another's vomit might taste like. . .and that I'm undoubtedly the only person in the world who is having this problem with this yogurt.
So I did what all wired, lazy Americans do when confronted with such a mystery. I googled Stonyfield+greek+yogurt+vomit.
I'm not alone. She has this issue. And so do they. I could go on. Or you could google it for yourself. Or, you could just take my word for it.
And, unless you're an eight year old boy, I would recommend that you avoid Oikos Vanilla Greek Yogurt. Anyone interested in taking the blueberry container off my hands?
Cheap?
Free?
Anyone. . .
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