Holy Week - Feel the Fear

This Holy Week I've been reading the book The Last Week: A Day-by-Day Account of Jesus' Final Week in Jerusalem. It's written by two top Jesus scholars Marcus Borg and John Dominic Crossan. These two don't carry a lot of weight with most of right-wing Christianity.

Perhaps that's why I like them so much.

They are following Jesus final seven days from the perspective of the Gospel of Mark - the oldest Gospel. It's a scholarly work - not exactly prompting the reader to wonder what the Scriptures might mean on a personal level. It's more of a work that explains Jesus' actions and why they led to his crucifixion on Friday.

One thing shines through for sure. Jesus knew exactly what he was doing and he knew what the consequences would be. It begins on Palm Sunday with two triumphal entries into Jerusalem. The first entry, that of Roman governor Pontius Pilate leading Roman soldiers into the city, symbolized military strength. The second heralded a new kind of moral hero who was praised by the people as he rode in on a humble donkey.

As I go farther into the week I'm being reintroduced to a Jesus who willingly gives up his life in a protest of those who have power but practice no justice. By the end of the week he will march himself up to Calvary and a cross and give himself up as a model for others to do the same when they are confronted with injustice.

Intellectually, I get all that. It's the intended message of God for a hurting world. Emotionally, however, I don't have a clue how it works. Here's why – somehow Jesus confronted his human fears and yet he kept moving forward.

He felt the fear. . .and did it anyway.

Fear is such a universal human condition. No one needs to be reminded of that but here are three messages I got or sent this morning.

Part of me is really tired of holding up all these walls I've built for the past 40 years. The other part of me is scared shitless to let them fall down. Any suggestions?

I am stuck. I am confused. I am wondering what the fuck life is supposed to be about. . .

They can't do anything more for mom. She had us take her off everything but pain management. We are going to take her home so she can finish this life there. I'm so sad she is leaving. Please pray for my family.

Fear is a thief. It takes and takes and takes – until there's nothing left. It sucks the energy and life right out of you. Fear never gives anything back. Yet it's the place we – where I – often live my life.

To my friend who's losing his mother – what would you do if you weren't afraid of losing her? You might spend her last days being closer to her than you ever have been before. It might be a gift to both of you.

To my friend who has closed herself off for far too long – what could you do with the energy you gain by not having to hold up those big old walls anymore? How many lives could you impact with the gift of who you are if you just let fear go?

To me – what could I do with my life, my future, my calling from God if I weren't so afraid?

We're still in Lent. The time of repentance. The roots of the Greek word for "repent" mean "to go beyond the mind that you have." 

Perhaps it's time to move beyond fear, beyond the place and mind that we have. Perhaps it's time to feel the fear. And do it anyway.