A Dog Story

"Hey Sammy," Oliver whispered. "Sam! Come over here! I got an idea!"

Oliver was standing next to the cover of the crawlspace that led under the house. The concrete patio was covered in mud and the sky was dripping rain. The door to the crawlspace had fallen open and Oliver had one eye on the pink insulation hiding inside there and the other eye on his brother Sam.

Sometimes Oliver got impatient with Samson. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. But as he waited for Sam to appear around the corner of the garage, he was pretty sure that Samson would do whatever he asked.

"What Ollie?? Whatcha wanna do??" Samson was excited that his brother was paying attention to him instead of the squirrels.

"Sam, listen to me carefully. I want you to go under the house and drag out some of that insulation. See it right there? It's that pink stuff with the paper backing. I think it would make for a great game of keep-away! Just lay down on your belly and drag yourself under there and pull some out!"

There was a pause while Oliver watched Sammy's face.

"What do you say, buddy? You up for a game?"

Sammy looked into the doorway. It was dark in there and he didn't really like dark places. What if there was something hiding in there to scare him? In order to cover his fear, which he knew Oliver would mock, he thought for a minute and then said, "I don't know Ollie. I think Moms might get mad if we do that."

"Come on Sam! Don't be such a baby! What's the worst thing they will do to us? They never spank. All they ever does is use those stupid baby voices and say stuff like, 'What Did You Do?' and 'You're A VERY BAD DOG!' Big deal, bro! Think how much fun it would be!"

Samson knew he was right. A little talking to wouldn't hurt. But what about being scared to go under there? He just couldn't confess that to Oliver so he tried one more excuse.

"When Mom put that under there she said we had to stay away from it. That it was made of glass or something and could really hurt us Ollie! I don't want to get hurted Ollie!"

"For God's sake, Samson," Oliver sneered. "Are you going to be a puppy forever? How long are you going to let humans tell you what to do? It's time to stand on your own four feet and be a DOG!"

Sammy hated it when Oliver said stuff like that. It made him feel like a baby. Sammy was too chicken to point out that if it was bad to let humans tell you what to do maybe it was also bad to let big brothers do the same thing. Or perhaps Sam wasn't too chicken to say it. Maybe he was just too dumb to figure that out.

Regardless, it worked. Samson screwed up his courage, closed his eyes, got down on his belly and stuck his head under the house. His heart was racing as he opened up one squinty eye and looked around. It really wasn't so bad under there. It was kind of warm and the rain wasn't dripping on his head anymore. Slowly, he began to relax a little. His panting slowed, and his heart wasn't pounding quite so loudly.

"Do you see it, buddy?? Just grab one corner of it and back out slowly!" Oliver's instructions were helpful, as Sammy had already forgotten why he was in there in the first place.

"Oh yeah," he thought to himself. "Ollie is waiting so we can play a game!!"

Samson opened his mouth wide and chomped down on a piece of that paper-backed pink insulation. It crinkled a little and startled him. Sam had always had a hyperactive startle reflex and it caused him no end of embarrassment. Tonight was no different. As the paper started to make noise, adrenaline pumped into his bloodstream. He was getting scared. The faster he tried to back out of the crawlspace, the more noises were coming at him from the darkness. He couldn't get out of there fast enough.

He also couldn't let his brother down.

Scrambling, scratching, struggling and shimmying he got himself and the insulation out of the hole.

"Good job, bro! Now LET'S PARRRRR-TEEE!"

Oliver grabbed at the four foot sheet of insulation, already absorbing the rain. It tore with a satisfying sound. He ran away with a huge chunk of it in his mouth and Samson followed, joy in his face as Oliver was pleased with him. It wasn't long before the entire back yard was covered in shreds of pink.

Sammy, panting and flush with feelings of pride and success sidled up to Oliver. "I don't care what Moms say. . .I think you're the BEST brother ever!"

And, that's the story of how I spent the morning picking up a garbage bag full of dripping insulation.