Christmas Letter Outtakes

One of my least favorite parts of working in a print shop is typing Christmas letters for customers. It feels like an invasion of privacy. Even worse is going through the mental gymnastics that it takes not to edit or re-write them. Here are a few snippets from this year's crop.

Some are pompous and too wordy.

In June, Harold and I went to Illinois to a tool convention. Harold sells a lot of his pamphlets on many historical subjections.

What the hell is a historical subjection??? And who pays for one???

************************************

Some are funny and you want a bit more info.

We returned home from the Wayne County Fair with 1/2 bushels of plums, pears and tomatoes to can. That was too much for Mom. She had to see the doctor.

What was the diagnosis?

************************************

This is another one that's pompous. And frankly, it's TMI.

Once again I had a surgical procedure. About a year earlier I had injured my left elbow in some way which caused the bursa to become inflamed which, in turn, generated excess joint fluid to compensate for the damage. Much of this joint fluid was diverted to a rather large pouch of skin attached to the exterior of the elbow. Although the pouch was not too painful, it was a nuisance and an aesthetic disaster. 

An aesthetic disaster. . . that, in my humble opinion, you ought to keep to yourself!

************************************

Occasionally, one is well written and thoughtful.

The first snowfall says "it's winter" even though the calendar isn't quite there yet. Icicles, frost on the branches, and sunshine plus cardinals at the bird feeder make for a perfect winter display. Who needs to decorate! Tradition seems to demand it and we succumb. Christmas music is everywhere you want to be. Children are exuberant, and the elderly (that's us) look and listen carefully. We've been granted another year to enjoy and be grateful.

Although these well-written letters are few and far between, laughing at the rest keeps me going!