Simplify

I read an interesting article the other day about simplifying your life. I don't really think my life is overly complicated but I'm always interested in the concept of living a life of more meaning, less stuff and fewer complications. All of these things resonate with my soul in a very deep place. To me, a simpler life means a life where I am able to get rid of many of the things that aren't all that fulfilling, and replace them with time and people that I love. It means getting rid of clutter so that I'm left with physical and emotional space that is peaceful and nourishing.

It's all about spending time doing what's important to me.

Ali and I have had a lot of conversations about this. She also has a very deep need to take care of herself and her psyche. Although we enjoy doing different activities, both of us HAVE to carve out times and spaces to do self care.

She loves puzzles, genealogy and games. I knit, bake and meditate.

This weekend we spent time with someone who reinforced the importance of self-care and simplifying in a very real way. We watched someone we both care for running down a road towards self destruction. We felt helpless and sad. But, we were also reminded how important it is to live a life that is full of positive people, energy and love.

Achieving balance isn't always easy.

There are a lot of books and experts to tell us how to simplify. Basically, it boils down to this: identify what's most important to you in your life and them eliminate everything else. How we get there is the hard part.

One tip for simplifying was to make a list of the four or five most important things in your life. The things that matter MOST.

MY LIST OF MOST IMPORTANT THINGS
1. A healthy and honest relationship with my partner.
2. Quiet and introspection – time for the Holy to break into my spirit.
3. Family and friends to share life with.
4. Creativity and the time and space to express it in lots of ways.
5. New life to be brought into old life on a constant basis.

The trick then becomes to evaluate my commitments to bring them in line with what I value and need. I have to look at everything from work, to hobbies and how I spend my free time and see if these things fit my list. And then eliminate (or at least, control) those things that don't. It seems overwhelming at first.

The article said to start by dropping just one commitment. Find one thing that you do, that you dread. Something that takes up time but doesn't give much return on your energy. Something that you do every day, every week or every month that you really don't want to do. Then, take action and get it off your plate. It may be a task on your "to do" list or it may be a situation that drains your spirit.

Letting go of this thing, whatever it is, may be difficult. To actually call or email someone and tell them that you just don't have the time or the energy anymore isn't for the faint hearted or for the "people pleaser." But, I imagine that it's quite freeing.

What might it be like to drop all commitments that don't contribute to your list of most important things?? Energizing and relieving are words that spring to mind.

This isn't a post to a blog that I take lightly. I've written before that the way I spend my days is the way I spend my life. I doubt I'll arrive at the end of my life wishing I had watched yet another re-run of "Law and Order: SVU." I will, however, wish that I had spent more time in conversation with my partner. I will wish that I had watched more sunsets and I will regret that I hadn't been a better listener.

So, today I will fulfill a commitment for the last time. Then I will write a letter and explain why I can't do it anymore. I will say that my decision is good for my soul and good for my life.

I'll let you know how it goes.