Wildfire!

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.
– Seneca, Roman philosopher and writer



I had a dinner date last night. He was wonderfully kind and a good conversationalist. He even brought me flowers from his garden.

I told him that at the time of his phone call and dinner invitation I wondered what it was that he wanted. Turns out he didn’t “want” anything. He just wondered how I was and if I was doing OK.

This man has endured a lot of loss in his life. He knows what it feels like to grieve and that knowledge has given him great compassion for others as well as a reservoir of kindness from which he draws deep empathy.

Besides taking home a beautiful bouquet of flowers, I took home the following thoughts – When you are kind to someone in trouble, you just hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else. And it'll become like wildfire.

We could all use a little more of that. Thanks Monty.

In Honor of the Big Day

In honor of the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" tomorrow night I took the Sorting Hat quiz! Without further ado:

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

I'm a huge Harry Potter fan and will be in line at B. Dalton at midnight tomorrow! See you there?

Taking Refuge

When I wrote a few days ago that I hadn’t been to church in seven weeks I’m not sure if that was the truth or not. A few weeks ago, on a Sunday morning, I went to a Buddhist community service in Toledo. Just not sure whether that was “church.” I guess it depends on the definition you use for the word church. But that’s a discussion for another blog post, on another day.

This group of about fourteen people meets in the InnerFaith Community Center on the University of Toledo campus. It meets on the third floor of an old house that lots of interesting groups share.

The Toledo Buddhist Sangha (community) is led by a warm and relaxed woman named Ilsang (teacher) Laurie Jackson. Ali and I arrived early because we didn’t really know what to expect and Laurie made us feel very welcome and answered our questions without making us feel uncomfortable.

The first things we were instructed to do was to take our shoes off and take a seat either in a chair or on a mat and cushion. Both of us chose the traditional mats and cushions on the floor and folded our legs in the usual mediation style. At 9:30 am the service began by chanting the Refuges.

The Three Refuges were chanted in Pali, the ancient language of the Buddhist texts. Loosely translated the Three Refuges are:
I go to the Buddha as my refuge.
I go to the Dhamma (truth) as my refuge.
I go to the Sangha (community) as my refuge.

Following the chanting we began a 25-minute sitting meditation. The purpose of this meditation is to clear your mind of all thoughts and open your heart to Enlightenment. I’ve done some meditating as spiritual exercise but never sitting on the floor with my legs crossed! It’s hard not to fidget. Especially when my legs and butt went to sleep and I thought I was going to fall off my cushion wiggling around!

At the end of this period we stretched and put on our shoes to go outside for a time of walking meditation. I loved this part! We began by forming a line and folding our hands over our hearts. Walking began quickly and then begin to slow each step. After a few minutes we were walking very, very slowly and my thoughts became only of that very moment – no future and no past.

Ilsang Laurie led us back upstairs and we began anther 25 minute period of meditation. Following this, we read from the Dhammapada (essential Buddhist teachings), then had a short dharma talk and discussion of the teachings or our personal practice of Buddhist teachings in a modern world. We then formally bowed to greet each other to end the service.

The people at the Sangha were incredibly kind and welcoming. They talked with honesty about their lives and listened with intensity about ours.

All in all, I found it to be spiritually nourishing. There is something very pure and uncomplicated about Buddhism. The essential truths are not far from Jesus and his teachings. In Buddhism there are The Four Noble Truths:
1. Life brings suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The end of suffering is attainable.
4. There is a path to the cessation of suffering.

The Eightfold Path (to end suffering)
1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

As I continue to meditate on the Eightfold Path I am intrigued and challenged. These seem to be the best of what human beings can be. They seem to be the best of what Christianity was designed to be. And they challenge me to be aware of my intention and my focus at any given moment of the day.

I’m not sure if we will go back to the Toledo Sangha. I’d like to. Guess we will wait and see.

A Woman Possessed

I’ve been knitting compulsively lately. Not that I feel that any area of my life is out of control or anything or that knitting is something I can completely own and control. . .

No. . .nothing like that. . .

Anyway, I’ve been possessed by the mitered square! It started innocently enough. For “fun” on Saturday afternoon, while laying next to the pool in the sun, I was paging through the book “Mason Dixon Knitting: The Curious Knitters Guide: Stories, Patterns, Advice, Opinions, Questions, Answers, Jokes and Pictures” by Ann Shayne and Kay
Gardiner.

I saw a picture of a Mitered Square Blanket. The colors were kind of loud for my taste until I remembered that I had a ball of yarn in earthy tones that might make some squares I liked a little more. The authors warned that knitting mitered squares was addictive but I laughed in the face of that warning and proceeded with caution thrown to the wind.

Two hours later I was addicted. Two days later I have four squares done and a fifth on the needles. I. Can’t. Stop.

Five squares down. Seventy-five to go! Mitered squares. This knitter’s crack.

From the “What the Hell??” File

A woman I am acquainted with came into the print shop last week.

She said, “Hi Tanya! I LOVE your haircut!”

There was a two beat pause, then she added, “It matches your shirt!!!”

Huh?

Ownership

When the registered letter came from the Leadership Team asking for my immediate resignation from the pastorate I was shocked. (It came three weeks into the four-week leave of absence.) So much had already changed in my life that I wasn’t sure how I felt about being asked to leave the church I loved.

I still don’t know how I feel about that.

I do know that many things have become a hell of a lot clearer in the last seven weeks.

Open Door once owned me – body and soul.

If the church was doing well, I was doing well.

If I thought that something was wrong at the church, I felt anxious and worried all of the time. I would have trouble sleeping, worried about what I could do to make things better.

If someone suddenly stopped attending church I couldn’t stop worrying that I had done something that caused them to leave.

I constantly felt unworthy to be a pastor. I felt like if there was the slightest thing going on in my own life that could be perceived as “sinful” that I should just throw in the towel.

If I preached a good sermon I felt proud. Later I would feel ashamed of myself for feeling good.

If I preached a bad sermon I felt like I hadn’t tried hard enough and that there would be retribution from God for my lack of preparation or skill.

If church attendance rose or fell and I couldn’t explain why, I felt like a poor leader.

In short, my entire life and self worth hinged on the vitality of Open Door Community Church. I see now how crazy and unhealthy that was.

I haven’t been to church in seven weeks. It’s probably been over 12 years since I’ve missed that many weeks of church in a row. I don’t really think I’m ready to go back yet.

It’s too soon to risk letting anything own me – body or soul.